February 2012
ew
One of the other bridesmaids has a five week old son. She keeps posting pictures of him on Facebook with captions about how he’s making his “sexy face.”
Is it weird that I’m so grossed out by this woman calling her baby sexy?
If anyone ever called Poppy sexy, I would cut them in the face with a machete.
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I just called Poppy "Dingus Khan."
Mother of the Year
Cody ate that Hershey bar before I could get to it.
And I am so mad, Tumblr. So so mad.
candy ottomans for everyone!
gennibean replied to your post: Good God, Lemon.
You fool! there is a candy bar on the green foot rest!! I know because I left it there. Also now seems like an appropriate time to mention that because I dont know what to put in my new ottoman, I think I want to fill it with candy. I love you!
I’ve made a huge mistake….
I should have eaten that ottoman Hershey bar!
It's okay to troll if you're doing it for a good...
Honor trollin’?
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oh. em. gee.
sprogirl:
My mother-in-law just posted on my wall, asking if I was dilated yet.
Bugging me for news. Asking questions regarding my cervix. On my Facebook wall.
I knew I was marrying into white trash and crazy, but damn.
When you ask a pregnant woman, publicly, if she is dilated, you are basically saying “OMG HOW IS YOUR VAGINA?! WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME OF ITS RECENT SHENANIGANS?...
Good God, Lemon.
I just put away laundry that had been sitting in my baby’s crib for at least two weeks. She sleeps in bed with us, so why not use her Pack’n’Play as a place for clean clothes to slowly turn dirty again as the cats routinely make beds on them?
What I’m saying is that most of the black clothes just got thrown back into a dirty laundry basket.
Also, I’m seriously...
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Community is coming back on March 15th.
I think this is the day Karl leaves for Finland.
Coincidence?
It’s been a year and a half since I had any measurable amount of alcohol. Lately, though, I would really like to snuggle up with a bottle of wine. The whole bottle. For me and nobody else. I would like the ability to get stupid for just one night.
But I don’t want alcoholic breast milk. Saaaaaaaad trombone.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t even remember what life was like before I was a mom. I always thought that you shouldn’t let your job define who you are. This must be the exception. Feeding and loving and protecting this person. That’s me. That’s why I’m here. And I can be a dozen other things, too. But I will always be this first.
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When someone says they have "a really good...
I kinda just assume they are really shitty at interacting with real people.
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Billy Dee Williams is going to be at Kansas City...
And tickets are only $20.
Things to consider…
Reblog this if you're part of the Wilf...
only-a-time-lords-hearts:
Itchy and Covered in Sawdust
Cody and I are building furniture. We’ve done it before, but he just got a new pocket hole jig and router, so we are in it to win it. My job usually consists of sanding/scraping. Now I’m itchy.
But we can make so many things!
baby teef
You know how lots of moms keep their children’s baby teeth after they fall out? Adorable keepsake boxes and all that? My mom never did that with us. My mom also had six children and two step children. That’s eight kids. Eight sets of baby teeth that ended up being thrown away.
I don’t know why that’s so weird for me to think about right now. Eight baby heads worth of...
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Poppy just rolled into the other room.
I feel like she’s just going to skip the crawling phase entirely.
She has this rolling bit down to an exact science.
The Heavy Metal Parking Lot DVD has special feature segments about a Neil Diamond parking lot AND a Harry Potter parking lot.
I am not lying when I say I would fit in either of those situations.
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