I’m going to talk about my placenta.

So, you know, if you are grossed out by that, feel free to skip. Also, maybe do some serious soul searching and wonder why the hell something so magical as a placenta grosses you out.

I’m encapsulating mine tonight. I’ve had it in the freezer since P was born, but I’ve finally gotten around to doing something important with it. It worked so hard when it was inside of me. The thought of it turning into “medical waste” makes my stomach turn. 

I never got the chance to really look at it after Poppy was born. I held her in my arms, crying “I love you,” in a language I never knew I could speak while I pushed it out of me. She was still attached. It felt like nothing compared to the work I’d just done. I could push a million placentas out of me and not bat a damn eyelash. 

Taking it out of the freezer bag, I was shocked by how much blood was involved. Blood that used to be mine but was given to my daughter. Blood that I made for a person who didn’t even exist nineteen months ago. Blood that my daughter picked out when she was just a soul, floating around infinity, waiting for the right time to choose me as her mother. I thought the blood would make me squeamish, but as it ran all over my hands and stained my sink, I couldn’t help but be reminded of how beautiful this is. This female life. This ability to create and foster an entire universe inside of my abdomen. 

The side that was mine is rough, like a scab. An entire topography of iron and tissue. Nothing special, really. But Poppy’s side spreads itself out like a tree. This isn’t a flowery metaphor. This is a fact. The seed that was planted inside of me grew and grew until the entire universe expanded by one whole person.

And this is all leading up to me telling you that I’m going to post a picture. So, I don’t know. If you hate this, perhaps it’s time to stop following me. Because this is me. This is my proudest moment. This tiny person I created is, essentially, just a little ball of blood and guts, and if you find that disgusting you need to remember that we are all skeletons and meat and one day I hope you realize how beautiful and perfect that is.